Hikari

by tjeckleberg

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1.
04:29
Signwriter Bite your nails like a telegraph squint to read the neon signs sitting at the wooden table drinking sake after midnight you scanned the horizon read the jet stream peeling open oranges dissected seeds threw the dandelions into the breeze And didn’t it get brighter, signwriter? And the ducks on the river go round the outside round the outside, round the outside the river flows south and smiling, wide the night gets dark and the morning brighter signwriter You didn’t write back in German cause you’d forgotten the numbers and shapes you still recall the smell of petrol in the car after you walked out the gate you scanned the horizon read the jet stream peeled open oranges, dissected seeds you threw the dandelions into the breeze And didn’t it get brighter, signwriter? Your whiskey grin and talk of winning if you stack the cards right you can build a house and the words come slowly from your mouth windows wide open a smiling river facing south you scanned the horizon read the jet stream peeled open oranges dissected seeds you threw the dandelions into the breeze And didn’t it get brighter, signwriter? didn’t it get brighter, signwriter?
2.
04:44
Step When you think it's over step it out and back the way you came when you can't get closure step it out and back the way you came When she won't talk to ya step it out and back the way you came When she looks right through ya step it out and back the way you came When you haven't got a jacket and you're standing in the rain step it out and back and back the way you came When the streets are empty the wooden windows just blink and look away step it out and back step it out and back the way you came step it out and back step it out and back the way you came I didn't know myself when she called my name step it out and back and back the way you came She moved her hand and I wasn't the same step it out and back step it out and back the way But I'm not sure what door I walked away from And I'm not sure what room I walked in to I'm not sure what door I walked away from And I'm not sure what room I walked in to I didn't know myself when she called my name step it out and back and back the way you came She moved her hand and I wasn't the same step it out and back step it out and back the way I'm not sure what door I walked away from And I'm not sure what room I walked in to I will sing sing a new song
3.
03:38
Marathon I was running toward the wall, fingers collapsing into fists certainty, dignity, strength and such, I thought to catch it in a cup How long can you keep that up? How long can you keep that up? I was vibrating along a line, lonely, callow, saturnine who do I know who knows about this? I’ve become not enough traded my house my car my coffee cups How long can you keep that up? (how long?) How long can you keep that up? (how long?) How long can you keep that up? (how long?) I am not the day turning red I am not a hand I am holding her dogs barking in the doorway the way she ignored me I thought the sky was falling, I tried to hold it up How long can you keep that up? (how long?) How long can you keep that up? (how long?) solo You danced down the steps, north in Hokkaido blessings, cancellations, a free ride on a bus constantly scribbling, nervous and curious How long can you keep that up? (How long can you keep that up?)
4.
05:48
Mountain We stood on the roof puddles at our feet a little too drunk, in love I’d just bought new clothes a cool cat fuzz wondering when will I be robust? You said something about purity told a story about charity three guitars and a velvet blanket go tell it on the mountain and tell yourself again to do that girl no harm it’s easy when you think about it and your name, was on the mountain and your name was on the mountain and your name was on the mountain and the mountain was on fire out on the street down below a patient saint with white gloves rain shuffling black coats like cards like clowns at a rodeo dodging cars clutching phones like radios and we were counting stars and barking dogs and your name, was on the mountain and your name was on the mountain and your name was on the mountain and the mountain These scenes move faster in movies finding cointreau and soda somehow unaware of the silence unfolding simple and strange flowing down the street with every mess that I’ve made as the rain comes down harder and the flames leap higher And suddenly singing like an angel choir like church bells ringing and your name, was on the mountain and your name was on the mountain and your name was on the mountain and the mountain was on fire
5.
04:08
map Stand in the classroom, search for words, don’t shout go back over the last thing you heard put your left foot in, your left foot out listen to the letters, hear the complaints put your foot in the footsteps of the saints And turn the paper over Don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse Keep the tasks simple, hang your washing on clips look out to the mountain, stretch your legs ride your bike slowly on the left side of the road check you have your watch, your wallet, your cap, keys, your phone don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse just turn the paper over solo It shouldn’t bother you to be walking alone across a bridge It shouldn’t bother you to be going back over the things you did to get you here It shouldn’t bother you walking east to west and further up the river It shouldn’t bother you just try to be truthful try to be clear don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse just turn the paper over don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse just turn the paper over don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse turn the paper over don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse three lines and a house make a map don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse three lines and a house make a map don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse three lines and a house make a map don’t blink don’t panic don’t collapse three lines and a house make a map
6.
06:21
Tremble I put the paper in the stream so I could read the signs just like those monks must’ve done a thousand times words appeared like a reflection at the bottom of a cup I rang the bell she held my hand and warmed my hands up You can speak a little more calmly can’t you now? You can look away and nod instead of stare her down You know you breathe a little more easily whenever she’s around Try not to let her down And sometimes it causes me to tremble sometimes it makes my hands shake Sometimes it causes me to tremble and it’s more than I can take Try not to let her down There were no streetlights along the turning road The cedar sky above us was clear and cold She didn’t say so much and she walked slow When I was tried she just smiled and said you know, it’s not far to go You’ve got a fuse that snaps to mono black and drains the power grid It’s worth remembering the times you regret the things you said and did Did you really pause long enough before you walked from that cafe? Did you really just run out of things to say? And sometimes it causes me to tremble sometimes it makes my hands shake Sometimes it causes me to tremble and it’s more than I can take solo her quiet song the way she shakes her tambourine her grace and devotion her crazy notions the way she mixes up did and was and calculates a loss to make a won her kooky grin try not to let her down try not to let her down And sometimes it causes me to tremble sometimes it makes my hands shake Sometimes it causes me to tremble and my heart to break
7.
04:49
Field Don’t think, just breathe sunshine through my chest and green leaves a car I can’t replace a country the signs on the street say I’m happy The signs on the street say the man in the park waves they all go their own way I’m happy I’m happy Find another way to repeat yourself make a choice to be someone else find a way to step out of the race pray for rain pray for grace Caught in mid air maybe flying you stepped off a plane you stepped off track Casino roulette wheel spinning everybody knows you can’t go back Everybody knows you can’t make it back you can’t take it back you can’t go back Everybody knows you can’t make it back you can’t take it back you can’t go back Find another way to repeat yourself make a choice to be someone else find a way to step out of the race pray for rain pray for grace solo My shoulders ache my fingers stick she calls me out hopping over the fence a hook a ladder a farm full of strawberries a silver bike parked under the shed I don’t know why but the ducks on the river murmur I don’t know why but the ducks on the river sing And the kids in the park play and the man in the dark waves and they all dance their own way I’m happy I’m happy Find another way to repeat yourself make a choice to be someone else find a way to step out of the race pray for rain pray for grace You were eating strawberries the sun was sinking behind you still I laughed and said that you should take em all you smiled and said I will I will but I won’t add em up til I’ve got em in my hand
8.
04:12
No Editor Late night ride downtown red dress sways in the window the map gets turned around Back seat taxi cab streetlights slide across your skin crossing, uncrossing Windows opening summer breeze moves the curtains balcony and bourbon Establishing shot, I'm getting to know you the camera tracks a closing door mid shot, above and below you close up, and I don't need an editor Hotel neon light flickering in the doorway you're pausing, leaning Sheets are crisp and white rustling, slowly unfolding handfuls of moonlight Silver rain, angling your legs on the bed move slow rain falls on the roof below Establishing shot, I'm getting to know you frame by frame, a dress falls to the floor mid shot, above and below you close up, and I don't need an editor close up, I don't need close up, I don't need close up, I don't need an editor
9.
04:47
Thread These days I sleep and dream enhancing numbers, and drawing designs for time machines writing down the sights I've seen clouds jumping up above the trees green lights in the centre of the trees Maybe your love can lift me now maybe your love can lift me We walk through the storm to the foldaway bed I was mulling over past mistakes she was recommending cheesecakes I was lost in old tax returns that needed filing and exhausted from smiling Leaning at forty five degrees picturing myself in the summer breeze Your love can lift me maybe your love can lift me now I had a realisation yesterday last night before I fell asleep If we keep going, forward and broken it's enough is it not? If we make do with what we've got we can become what we are not? Row on row of books and imaginary leaps wandering lonely weary thinking again about Bell's theory and the one of a kind life we've left behind the strange string that threads your life through mine Your love can lift me maybe your love can lift me now
10.
05:46
Ocean I was thinking of the beach in Bondi the rain was on my shoulders she said ‘Everything will kill you slowly’ I said ‘Maybe so, but most of those can’t hurt as much as losing you’ I remember the sea I take a moment to begin drawing on napkins deciphering, remembering Did it make a difference to be told it was time to go or am I just the same? The right side of the ocean knew my name you know The rain sweeps in late that night the wind speaking of summer skies and plane flights it’s closing time at the beachside tables and chairs turned upside down a new broom, the storm sweeps me out the summer heat, the red-eyed dawn and next it was a hurricane you should test the stone bridge before you start walking on it you should know you can’t get back the way you came You should know by now You shoulda let it go by now You should know by now You shoulda let it go by now I jumped into the ocean the ocean took me back forgiveness and kindness salt and water on my skin I jumped into the ocean the ocean took me back knew who I was and where I’d been

credits

released April 11, 2020

Performed and produced by TJ Eckleberg
Maison Blanche, Kyoto, Japan 2017-2018

Mastered by William Bowden

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tjeckleberg Sydney, Australia

TJ Eckleberg is an Australian alternative singer / songwriter, producer and guitar player. 'Black & amber' is his seventh independent album. Originally a regular on the Sydney alternative scene, he lived in Berlin from 2010-13, and currently lives in Kyoto, Japan. ... more

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